The Best Thing Bout Tonight's That We're Not Fighting

What do you say when you don't feel the same way? How do you tell someone that your heart beats for another person? I mean, no one wants to hurt someone but is it possible to not to? Is it possible to go through life and never hurt someone? Even if i don't use the context of "life," is it possible to not hurt someone in this particular situation? How do you tell a person that you don't return their affection? It's impossible to not hurt someone in this situation because of that one word. It's the only word that everyone fears at one point in their lives: REJECTION!

How do you escape from that? I don't want to hurt this person. I don't want that word to pop up in their mind because I know that it is one of the worst feelings in the world. But at the same time, I don't want to lie and give false impressions. I don't want to be the hypocrite that I know I am deep down inside of me. But how could I possibly explain it all to him? How can I relive the hardest time of my life to spare someone's - someone I don't even really know - feelings? Truth is that I can't and that I won't.

It's a selfish fact - probably the most selfish fact about me - but it's the truth. I will not put myself through that amount of excruciating pain to help another. Is that bad? Is that wrong? Possibly. Probably. But in this case, I don't care. I don't relive that time with myself let alone someone else. I block it out and hide it away and unfortunately, I am going to continue to do that until I find that one person who can break through my shell and love me for what I am: broken.

You can judge me. You can hate me. You can call me a hypocrite because I deserve it but I have to do what I have to do. And I have to hurt you. I have to hurt you to not hurt myself. I have to hurt you to save myself. This is my farewell. It is my farewell to you. It is my farewell to this place. And it is my farewell to the life I have made here. My mind has been made up. I have decided. Today is the first day of my last days. Soon, I will begin an old life: my own. I just hope these people know that they have made a difference in my life and on who I am. I hope they understand why I'm doing this - why I need to do this. Thank you for everything. And I'm sorry that I've let you down. I wish you all the best in this world.

Farewell.