I Can Survive With You By My Side

I like the late night / early mornings. I think they're my favorite part of the day [or night if you'd prefer to call it]. It's my time. Everyone else is asleep and I'm the only one awake. It gives me time to myself to just relax and be me. I can do whatever I want, without making too much noise of course. But it gives me a chance to unwind from the day the way I like to and it gives me time to think in peace and this is what I've thought about:

Basically, my day sucked. Although nothing terrible or dramatic happened, it was still one of the worst days so far because of my parents. No, this is not going to be about how they're ruining my life and how much I hate them. It's actually the complete opposite for once.

Many people know that I have a very... difficult relationship with my parents and throughout the years, it has only grown worse. Well, I'm happy to say that right now it is officially the best it has ever been in my entire life. However, I am sad to say that this is only because I have moved out. I didn't realize exactly how much I loved them until I lost them and now, being stuck in this place that I basically detest, I realize how important they are to me and today proved that to me even more.

I went home this weekend for the first time in about a month. I knew I had missed them. There wasn't a doubt in my mind about that. But when I got home and saw them, I literally almost started crying. I was so happy to see them and to be back home. However, today I had to leave them and even though I should've been happy that I had gotten to spend time with them, I was sad the entire day. I tried not to show it to them because I knew they were sad too and I didn't want to add to it. When the time came to say goodbye, I couldn't even look at them. I knew that if I looked at them, I'd start crying and it was taking every ounce of control and strength I have to keep from crying without looking at them.

Anyways, I managed to make it through my goodbyes without tears and came back to San Marcos. I was thinking about them all afternoon and then I saw a bulletin that my friend posted. Even though it wasn't a happy bulletin, in fact it was an angry bulletin, it still made me happy because I instantly knew who she was talking about and when I messaged her about it, she confirmed my thought. It was such a small thing but it made my day because that proved to me that we were closer then I thought we were. I knew what she was thinking without her even telling me and knowing that that connection was there was enough to brighten my spirits.

My friendship with this person actually confuses me because we are nothing alike and yet we're so similar. We want the same things in life and I think that is what has brought us together but aside from that we're about complete opposites. It baffles me to think that I could be close to someone who is so unlike me. But you know what? I don't care. I honestly don't care. She could be yellow and I could be green and I would still love her. I know she's always there for me and I know she cares and that's all that matters.

I know that me and her have a bond. It's a little bond, I'll admit that, but it's strong for what it is and I'm going to do whatever it takes to keep it. There are very few people in my life whom I can say are truly important to me but I would not hesitate for a second to say that she is one of them. I know this is someone I want in my life forever. She may be younger than me [or I may be older than her depending on how you look at it] and people may see it as weird that we're friends. But just because it's unconventional doesn't mean it's not real. And quite frankly, I don't give a shit what people think about our friendship. People are going to come in and out of both of our lives. Some may try and break us apart but I know that no matter what, our friendship will survive. How do I know that? Because we're us. Plain and simple. :)

She was given the world
So much that she couldn't see
And she needed someone
To show her who she could be
And she tried to survive
Wearing her heart on her sleeve
But I needed you to believe

You had your dreams I had mind
You had your fears I was fine
You showed me what I couldn't find
When two different worlds collide
La dee da dee da

She was scared of it all
Watching from far away
And she was given a role
Never knew just when to play
And she tried to survive
Living her life on her own
Always afraid of the throne
But you've given me strength to find home

You had your dreams I had mind
You had your fears I was fine
You showed me what I couldn't find
When two different worlds collide

She was scared unprepared
Lost in the dark
Falling apart
I can survive
With you by my side
We're gonna be alright
This is what happens
When two worlds collide

You had your dreams I had mind
You had your fears I was fine
You showed me what I couldn't find
When two different worlds collide
La dee da dee da

You had your dreams I had mind
You had your fears I was fine
You showed me what I couldn't find
When two different worlds collide
When two different worlds collide